Why Do We Lose Friends in Middle Age?
You’re 30–something and have fewer friends than in your 20s? You’re definitely not alone.
An old friend and I recently sat down to catch up, and one of the topics that came up was the fact that we’d both — in our late 30s — found ourselves with far fewer friends than we’d had in our 20s or even early 30s. Why does this happen to so many people?
I likened the loss of friends during our 30s to the pruning of neurons that occurs during key stages of development. These friendships, no longer necessary, are pruned and cleared away. This ultimately makes room for more depth and growth in the friendships that we do keep, but it can be a painful and confusing process…and maybe even significantly damaging to our self-esteem.
Here are some factors that could lead to the demise of friendship in middle age:
1) We Just Don’t Have the Time
Sometimes the main reason for losing friendships is simply not having enough time. We tend to get more invested in our romantic relationships and careers at this age, and it’s also the time most of us start having children (or more children). It becomes increasingly difficult to carve out time for friends. We become more selective in planning coffee and dinner dates, choosing…
